Hello to my wonderful and supportive loved ones and friends- so many of you have already give me so much with your love and prayers and kind words. I want to thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart.
This is my first truly personal blog post ever, so bare with me and try to forgive if I babble or get off topic. I will get better at this (I hope) and maybe I will give someone a little piece of myself with my experience, strength and hope.
The beginning of this year Q and I decided that we would like to start the baby process again (for those of you who don’t know that means lots of doctor appointments).
During a routine ultrasound the tech found a large cyst on my left ovary. Since I have polycystic ovarian syndrome that isn’t abnormal, but after a few subsequent ultrasounds showed no change I was referred to the Mid-Atlantic Gynecological Oncology and Pelvic Surgery Center (*gulp*) and of course the name of the place made me a little nervous already. After reviewing my scans Dr. Rose did not like the look of the mass either so when I met with Dr. Rose we scheduled a surgery to remove the mass. We still didn’t have a definite diagnosis of what the mass was (cyst, tumor, etc.).
I had laparoscopic surgery to remove the cyst/mass on August 5, 2016 at Innova Fairfax Hospital. While he was operating, Dr. Rose felt that removing the entire left ovary and nine lymph nodes was necessary. He also removed the entire lining of my pelvis (apparently it regenerates quickly so that’s not a huge deal) and sent everything to be diagnosed and staged separately. He was confident that he knew what it was and that he had gotten every bit of it that he could, but wanted to prepare me for the possibility of chemotherapy. Yuck.
My mom came with me for the surgery because I was staying overnight and Q and I have never left the boys overnight and were not about to start with so much going on. I missed him being there, but he and my dad brought the boys to pick me up :0) Of course we stopped for what T calls “cheeekin” at Chick-Fil-A on the way home. I think I slept for about 18 hours a day for the next few days, I was sore and tired and I think honestly a little in shock after learning that I had had a tumor removed. Resting and sleeping so much helped the days go by pretty quickly since we had to wait until my follow up appointment to get the test results and the official diagnosis.
For the record, I want to say that Dr. Rose is an amazing doctor and he spent so much time and energy making sure that I knew exactly what was going on before the surgery and what exactly he would be (or could possibly be) doing during the surgery. He spent a lot of time after the surgery explaining what happened and really seemed to want to make sure that I understood what he was saying and that if I had what he thought I had that it was curable, he used that word a lot.
Q and I took S and T with us to see Dr. Rose 12 days after my surgery. Everything came back as benign except for what he had removed from the lining of my pelvis- that was positive for cancer. I have granulosa cell cancer, it is a less common form of ovarian cancer. Cancer… a word I never thought I would have to deal with, or at least not until I was ‘old’. Well, it turns out I have to deal with it. I have cancer, I am 27 years old, I have two year old twin boys, and I have cancer.
Next step is an appointment with the doctor that will set up my chemo protocol. Dr. Rose knows what he wants me to do, but I guess it’s up to the chemo doctor to really make the final call? I’ll know more after this coming appointment. From what Dr. Rose said I will probably go through three- four rounds of chemo, each round is three weeks long, but the actual infusion will be either once every three weeks or once a week for nine weeks… but honestly I think it could be anything.
On a more positive note, my hair will most likely fall out… just let me get there lol… it’s not something I’m looking forward to BUT I am planning on making the most of it! I’m going to cut and color my hair in ways that I have always wanted to but have always been too afraid to try! I’m talking neon colors, super short bob, a faux-hawk… who knows what else! At least I’ll look amazing till it falls out, then it’ll be time to try out some bright and beautiful scarves (Meela, I need you to teach me how to properly wear a hijab!), hats AND those Greta Garbo turbans I’ve never been able to pull off before ;0) I won’t even try to post my ideas for hair color yet… I’ll share those as I do it!
MY IDEAS (I’m open to more suggestions):
The Old Hollywood
The Rhoda (apparently this is called a ‘caftan’)
(I named this after you because I don’t know anyone else that can teach my how to do it!)
The boys are doing really well, the husband is doing very well (better than I expected honestly) and we are just ready to get this chemo train going so I can get off of it as soon as possible. This was not the original intention of my blog, though I never technically had one, but this is where I will be sharing parts of my journey- as a woman, a follower of Christ, a Marine wife, a twin mom, and (soon to be) a cancer survivor! I don’t know how interesting it will be, but I think I am going to enjoy getting some of this out of my head and off of my heart, you’re welcome to join me!
I still have no idea what I am doing…