Nekkid…. Naked

My feral child is playing outside while I write this.  He is butt-ass naked.  It is probably about 55 degrees outside, and that’s being generous.  He poured water on himself, no clue why.  I told him he had to stay outside for at least 30 more minutes before I would help him change his clothes because this is probably the one hundredth time he has gotten wet after I’ve told him not to.  His response was that he didn’t like wet clothes, but he walked away.  A few minutes later he comes to the door… butt-ass naked.  I told him to go play, and he did!  For another 10 or 15 minutes.  Totally naked, outside, in November!  I don’t even have a way to process that.   I am reminded of a quote though:

There’s a big difference between the words, ‘naked’ and ‘nekkid’. ‘Naked’ means you don’t have any clothes on. ‘Nekkid’ means you don’t have any clothes on- and you’re up to something.

-Lewis Grizzard

That’s my life in a nutshell, these boys are very rarely ‘naked’… they’re always ‘nekkid’.  Now I am being asked to feed them lunch…. you know what they want all the time?  Snack dinner- that works for every meal, not just dinner.  It is usually a granola bar, applesauce/yogurt, goldfish crackers/cheetos, crackers, cheese, fruit… a smorgasbord of snacks.  To be honest, I may have broken my children; they think warm veggies are weird, they need to be right out of a can or the fridge.  They do love almost every kind of fruit though!  And cheese!  No chicken unless it’s from Wendy’s or shaped like a dinosaur for one but the other will eat any kind of chicken and try almost any kind of meat.  Dino-nugget boy loves bacon, but that’s about it for meat.  They both eat spaghetti with meat sauce and their favorite pasta?  Shirataki noodles!!  I was amazed, but they request it!

Anyway, just remember to ask yourself the next time your kids are being wild and rip their clothes off… are they ‘naked’ or ‘nekkid’?  It’ll make you smile!

As always, I have no idea what I am doing


Leave a Reply