Recovery

        I don’t drink.  I’m not a teetotaler, I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober for 6 years, 8 months, and 4 days.  I haven’t had a drink since what would have been my great-grandmother’s 93rd birthday and I think she probably gets a kick out of that from up in Heaven.

        I’ve been told that I’m not a real alcoholic, that it was situational.  But you know what?  I’d rather be in recovery and not need it than be out there and need recovery.  Alcohol brings nothing good into my life.  It doesn’t bring me closer to God, closer to my husband, closer to my kids, closer to my ideal health, or closer to my friends.

        I truly don’t care that other people drink, so please don’t read this as a reprimand or a plea for you to stop drinking… as long as you drink responsibly and in a non-destructive way then go on with your bad self!

        I learned so much when I met Bill, SO MUCH!  Not just how to stop drinking, that’s not the main issue for me, it’s managing myself, my emotions, my outlets, my resentments.  It’s living a life of rigorous honesty, which isn’t hard most of the time, but I find myself omitting things to avoid conflicts.  Never big important stuff, always silly small things that are really of no consequence.  It’s something I work on, as well as cutting myself breaks… not expecting perfection from myself, accepting that I DO NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING.  When you boil it down, that’s the problem most addicts face: they try to control everything and when they’re forced to face that they can’t or when they inevitably get overwhelmed they search for an escape!  I’ve learned (an am still learning) how to cling to God and listen for His guidance (and follow it). It actually makes life much less complicated.

        I’ve also struggled with plenty as well: bedrest while pregnant with twins, emergency c-section delivery to 29 week twins, ovarian cancer, a partial oopherectomy, chemotherapy and my husband’s latest deployment.  God has also given me so much since I got sober, I’ve gotten three beautiful children, a stronger marriage, remission from cancer and better health overall.

I have no idea what I am doing

B

2 comments

  1. I completely dig you! Keep doing what you are doing and relying on GOD in all things. Call on your family and friends when you need help.

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